Self-Worth: Trust Your Inner Value — Even If It’s Not Perfect (No One Is)

Low self-worth affects every area of our lives: relationships, work, and personal growth. All of this stems from the belief that we don’t deserve good things.

This belief often operates as a default mechanism we’re not fully aware of. We didn’t experience healthy role modeling around self-worth, so we don’t always know how it should feel to be worthy and confident within ourselves. As a result, we seek external validation—looking for approval, achievements, or success to prove our worth. Life continues to reflect that poor sense of self-worth back to us.

I Feel You

I feel you if you often feel "not good enough." I recognize this pattern because I’ve been working with it, and I still am. There were times when I was convinced I would find it in education, titles before and after my name, business, or relationships. It’s a deep-seated pattern that I could hide, dress up nicely, or have a good sleep and double-shot of espresso. On good days, I felt cheerful, but when things don’t go well—bad sleep, tough day, arguments—these "unworthy" childhood parts surface. When managers get tired or things get difficult, these exiles with unpleasant feelings come up again.

I’m understanding them better and better with practice, with more understanding in my own system, and by building a stronger support system from within.

The Double-Edged Sword of Low Self-Worth

People with low self-worth often have huge potential but struggle to tap into it because of a lack of courage. This creates a double-edged sword: on one side, we possess incredible abilities, whether it's providing high-quality service, offering unique insights, or understanding others' needs. Our sensitivity, attention to detail, and empathy can be powerful assets.

However, fear holds us back. We may feel insecure, thinking we’re not good enough or fearing judgment. This fear causes us to hide our talents, even though we have everything it takes to succeed. The result is that our potential remains untapped, and we miss opportunities to shine, despite having the ability to make a big impact. 

Tips for Moving Forward

Here are some steps to help us move forward:

1. Reconnect with Our "Unworthy" Parts: Instead of rejecting the parts of ourselves that feel unworthy, we can connect with them. Showing them compassion and giving them attention helps us integrate these parts into our whole being.

2. Start Small: We can take small steps to build confidence, such as sharing something on social media or offering a discounted service. These small actions will gradually build our courage and momentum.

3. Shift Our Narrative: Let’s replace “I’m not good enough” with “I am enough as I am.” This shift may take time, but every day we take steps toward embracing our value, we’re closer to fully accepting ourselves.

4. Commit to Showing Up: Even when fear arises, let’s commit to showing up for ourselves. Every small act of courage will diminish the power of self-doubt and help us live our truth.

5. Let’s find a balance:  It might be good idea to put ourselves out there even if the feeling of not being good enough is still there. Because now as adults we know that feeling doesn’t reflect reality. I can offer these younger parts of me kindness and presence—they don’t have to be alone anymore. And, we can tackle the challenges together. 

   Confidence isn’t about being especially talented from birth. It’s more about the skill of doing something, falling, repairing (being with the vulnerable parts we couldn’t be with in the past), and trying again until we figure it out. 

Stick with It

Let’s not abandon the parts of ourselves that feel afraid—nurturing them will help us grow. When we choose to show up for ourselves, we give ourselves the chance to live the life we desire.