5 Simple Tips to Decrease Social Anxiety

Do you feel out of control or unsafe in social situations? Do you fear being judged by others, avoid certain people or social situations, or feel shame in public settings? Are you afraid of being humiliated, or do you avoid being the center of attention? Do you experience unpleasant bodily sensations, such as sweating, a rapid heartbeat, or avoiding eye contact?

If so, you might be struggling with social anxiety. As its intensity decreases and you gain more space to work with it, you can slowly learn to understand and accept the emotions and bodily sensations underlying social anxiety.

5 Simple Tips to Help Decrease Social Anxiety

1. Become Aware of the Problem on an Emotional and Mental Level
Start by exploring these questions through journaling or reflection:

• What emotions do you feel when social anxiety kicks in? Is it intense shame, fear of criticism, or discomfort about being yourself?

• What do you believe about yourself in social settings?

• What thoughts come to mind when anxiety arises?

• Where do you feel these emotions in your body, and what physical responses occur (e.g., heart palpitations, blushing)?

2. Take a Deep Breath
When stressed, the sympathetic part of the nervous system activates, putting your body into a fight-or-flight mode. Breathing deeply can signal the parasympathetic nervous system (responsible for relaxation) to help calm your body. In a challenging social situation, try taking a slow, deep breath through your nose and focus on sensations like your heartbeat or discomfort. By simply breathing, you create a gap to slow down the moment, grounding yourself.

3. Check In With Your Inner Child
In ancient times, social exclusion often meant life-threatening danger. Although this isn't the case today, your body and subconscious might respond to social situations as if they are life-or-death scenarios. Before, during, or after a challenging social occasion, connect with your inner child. Gently reassure this part of yourself with simple statements like, "It’s okay" or "I am here for you," addressing their concerns and fears as a supportive parent would.

4. Acknowledge Your Qualities
Social anxiety often makes it hard to see positive traits. Yet, everyone has qualities worth valuing. Start by writing down what you're good at, going beyond typical “job interview” strengths. Recognize small things you appreciate about yourself each day. While acknowledging the anxiety, focus on your strengths to shift your perspective.

5. Calm Your Nervous System Naturally
Consider natural remedies that may help ease anxiety, such as GABA (25-250 mg) or tryptophan for serotonin support (start with low doses and build up gradually if necessary). Evening primrose oil and quality magnesium supplements (e.g., magnesium citrate, bisglycinate, or L-threonate) may also help, as can regular exercise or meditation to condition your nervous system to feel safer.

Final Word

When shame drives us, we’re easily influenced. But we can use shame as a guide to better understand our emotions and integrate them, instead of letting them influence us negatively. Follow your truth, and don't be afraid to make mistakes—they're part of the journey. Social anxiety can become an opportunity to embrace your authentic self. Be kind to yourself as you progress.

If you wish to learn more about social anxiety, download a free chapter from my new e-book: Which Tapping Points Work Exceptionally Well for Social Anxiety? In this e-book, you’ll discover practical tools to help you understand and transform emotions, thoughts, and bodily responses in challenging social situations. Or purchase the full e-book, First Aid for Social Anxiety, to empower yourself with tools to self-regulate, even when feeling overwhelmed.